What Flare?

You have probably read that I’ve been in flare mode for almost a month. We sold our home, we close on the fifth of September, very soon. I’m pleased that the house sold at asking price. Of course, a bidding war would have been fun, or not.

The last night in the house on Taylor Street, I sent out an SOS text to my brother-in-law that I needed help. He came, packed MOST of my living room and office. He loaded it all into his truck. Then went and got his other truck and loaded that too, along with various boxes I’d packed. He called his wife, and she arrived shortly after to pack up my entire kitchen. Nice, right? I cannot remember any of it! Not one detail. I was in a full-on flare mode with fibro fog! Needless to say, every box I open is like Christmas morning. I can’t believe all the work they did for me. I have thanked them profusely, but how does one know if that’s ever enough?

The change that comes with living out of boxes in a semi-permanent living environment is unsettling. My husband and I have taken up residency at our family’s lake home. Well, I’m a part-owner with my remaining five siblings, so it is part mine. I mean, it sounds weird to say ‘my’ lake home, but I do pay taxes on this property. So, yes, my lake home.

My brother, Kory, was in the military. When he was 37, he was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer. He lived for just seven weeks after that diagnosis. He was able to instruct us on what to do with his life insurance. He was still single, but family meant everything to him. This lake home stands on the land where my father’s boyhood home stood. This property has been turned into an LLC and will remain in our family for generations to come. It truly is a gift. I would’ve chosen my brother over this vast, six-bedroom lake home in a heartbeat, but that wasn’t to be. (Rest in peace Kory.)

I am rambling, aren’t I? Yes, I am.

The point of this post was to tell you that last night I was in some sort of cognitive blackout caused by an extremely stressful and painful day. My fibro fog has been happening very frequently. This also causes, S-T-R-E-S-S! I wrote a post at one point about a theory I had about fibro fog. Our brain allows us to escape from our painful reality by resorting to a dysfunctional cognitive state. It basically shuts us down to ‘reboot.’ It still is only my theory, but, I believe this is what happened last night. My husband said I was very cooperative, I listened to him, and he guided me into bed so I wouldn’t hurt myself. (I swear if he roofied me again… just kidding!)

I feel very different today. Still some intense pain off and on but overall, I am better physically and much more so mentally. I will begin updating you on our new beginning next week… I am officially going to start documenting the process of our continued search and purchase of our 5th Wheel and truck. We are narrowing down the options so I better start telling you about it all.

I have a new tagline. After much thought, a decision has been made!

drumroll…

I Tripped Over a Stone.

“A Fibro Warrior finding freedom as a rolling stone.”

What do you think?

Live your best life!

 

img_0986~Kim

29 comments

    1. Laura, it is so hard to explain and the impact on us is major! I wonder why we are not taken at our word? People just have a hard time with โ€˜chronic.โ€™ But chronic is a long time… thatโ€™s difficult for us all to understand. Thanks Laura! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’ซ

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Wow lady…thatโ€™s a powerful lot of stress! Glad you are feeling better and appreciate the vivid description. I have felt close to that but remembered bits and pieces only. And you are right, people donโ€™t understand. Thank God for your brother and sister in law. So awesome and such a loving thing to do for someone who canโ€™t do for themselves. Wishing I had more people like that in my life. I am very excited for you both! What an adventure awaits and a dream come true! You deserve it my friend!!! Canโ€™t wait to hear all about it.
    Take good care of yourself and slow your roll, rolling stone!
    Much love!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Firstly, I’m sure your brother-in-law and his wife know how grateful you are, and your many thanks are enough. They are probably glad there was something they could actually do to help with the house related stuff, whereas those around us can too often feel helpless when it comes to our health and such. Secondly, I think your theory could definitely hold some weight. Thirdly, love the new tagline. It gets my (obviously hugely important) seal of approval ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I really do hope this is a sign that things are getting a little better, bit by bit, back towards your baseline. Sending hugs xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Caz! You are clever, and still that heart of gold grows! I do need to remember when people ask what they can do, let them know. It is important. You’ll buy into my theory? I think it makes sense. A little tweaking and I may have something! The Caz seal of approval is definitely important! What? Don’t even question that!!! I feel like its an appropriate tag for the beginning of life in an RV for a Fibro Warrior! ANd yes, I am getting back to baseline. Had a rough one last night and was on display for my unbelieveing sister… so yes, she got to see me in all my glory… there is a blog there. One day I’ll share for all to witness the ‘horror’ which is funny because we call those nights reality!!! (eye roll). Thanks Caz!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Kim,
    I love that you are so well loved by your family, your friends, and your tribe! The new tagline is perfect for where you are right now! I know your brother Kory is beaming with pride. Glad to hear that you’re starting to feel a bit better! I know you’ll take care of yourself and ease back into your norm. Old music for your new tagline, my friend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwOfCgkyEj0
    Bunches of hugs,
    Mona

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “How does it feel to be homeless? Like a Rolling Stone.” (Yikes. Bob Dylan had a few things to say to me!) Mona! hahaha! I agree, the tagline really says it all. I believe I have not let you know that I am basically estranged from most of my family! But I’m doing what I can to find a neutral playing field and rebuild some relationships. I got very ill in 2012. I had some bilary pancreas issues, and the buck stopped there. Many family members mistook my illness for something completely else. Feeling were hurt, judgments made, and some relationships are irreparable… Then I found the blogging community… THIS community and carefully stated telling my story. What a fierce, all-encompassing tribe gathered and welcomed me… all of me, every bump and bruise. And Mona, you found me too, and welcomed me and accepted all that I had to offer without a ‘but’ in there anywhere. God, I am so very lucky!!! Every time I sit down to this computer and open up my world where my tribe awaits… I can’t even find the words. I have been saved by this amazing group more times than I care to count. I’m so very glad you found me too, my dear friend. We are one powerful tribe! xoxo

      Like

  4. The lake home sounds so lovely and your family has been a real blessing to you as well (and I am so sorry on the loss of your brother; what a fabulous legacy he left his siblings though, wow, that’s very sweet!). I absolutely love the new tagline! Yes, sometimes I do think our brain checks us out of reality as a coping mechanism. It sounds like in this case it was a bit of a ‘reset’ moment as well for you; I have experienced something similar too — where it gets so bad my mind checks out and then it all lifts again after that point. Can’t wait to hear about the new 5th wheel!!! Keep rolling/fighting โค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

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