Grace Kelly and Me

Grace Kelly. Never have I seen a woman who so personified her name. Grace Kelly was indeed a woman of grace. I wonder if Grace Kelly and I would have gotten along? Would she have liked me? I want to be a woman of grace. I do not want to be Grace Kelly-like, I want to be me but be a person who is associated with grace. I want to be that person who personifies grace. To me, this is a courteous person, has a manner of behaving that is attractive, and promotes goodwill. Grace.

I learned some precious lessons when I recently suffered a blow to my self-esteem. Just when I was so very sure of myself, feeling understood and respected, a few comments in passing shook me to my core. I had no idea why I felt so destroyed by these comments? Although these comments were directed at me, they were really not about me. But I was nowhere near reason when I first received these comments. My first reaction was anger, and boy did I react! Then, I just felt hurt, and that turned into fear. Fear that I was somehow a complete, incompetent failure.

I really believe you must be true to yourself! You are the only one you have to live with, day by day, minute by minute. If you are angry, hurting, and/or fearful all the time, what are you like to live with? Does your partner want to come home after work? Do they avoid you when you are home? Do you avoid them? What would it be like to walk into your house and see yourself waiting for you… would you be excited to spend time with your own self?

I learned two compelling lessons from my brush with low self-esteem. The first is, to thine own self be true. If you know there was no malice meant by your words or deeds, then you are not to blame. But if you feel a responsibility to explain or apologize for a misunderstanding, do it. Secondly, handle yourself with grace at all times. Be the person who is thoughtful and promotes goodwill. Be the person your partner, spouse, children, want to come home to, and your friends want to visit.

Self-esteem is a tricky little monster, but it is your little monster.  I am a person that tends to have low self-esteem, I also am a person with fibromyalgia, but I am doing my best to manage both. Life shut down my freeway, so I had to take a detour. Life is a constant construction zone, so you find the detour and get through it. Hopefully, with grace.

And yes, I do think Grace Kelly would have liked me.

img_1129~Kim

56 comments

    1. I believe I have always ‘cared’ what people think, but if it really bothered me, I spoke up! I fought back! (When I worked in corrections, it was imperative that I put off signals not to mess with me or I would take you down and destroy you. Staff as well as the incarcerated were very aware of my ‘don’t fuck with me’ side.) There comes an inability to do this, or an over active response to this when there are feelings of inadequacy directly stemming from fibro. What REALLY freaked me out is that wolf pack mentality of wounding, then taking turns to inflict the fatal blow. I think BECAUSE OF fibro, the wolves circled, sensing wounded prey, and they began systematically to hunt as a unit. Because of fibro, self esteem is difficult to maintain. Since you are ill, there are days, weeks, months, you are not in a place to fight back. The wolves sense this. When they attack, even though you have a weapon close, you forget how to use it. So to answer your question, yes, Fibro makes me feel inadequate and the wolves sense this… but there are days when I can fight and days when the wolves win. Excellent question Steve. Made me really think about the ‘why.” Thank you.

      Liked by 3 people

  1. I do too. What a lovely and thought-provoking piece, Kim. Very graceful, if u ask me.
    Handle yourself with grace all all times esp.when people are judgemental and think they know you. This is my mantra. I say fuck you in a nice way.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. She would have loved you! That’s something I admire in you, your grace for how you handle what life throws at you, and your attitude for dealing with it. I think we have a choice for how we respond to things, such as comments; it’s not easy, but taking the higher road is where the sunshine’s at. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You would get along with her, as you’re full of grace and graciousness yourself. One must learn to let go of the negative emotions. They represent the person who is expressing them not you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Grace Kelly would have adored you! In my estimation every interaction we have had, the exchanges with others I have observed on your blog , and the way you present yourself and manage your voice all personify grace. It’s easy to get our feelings hurt, particularly if your illness is causing vulnerability and people are acting like arses. How lousy that you have been struggling with this. I am so sorry. Words can hurt. I’ve been on both ends of them: receiving and hurling. Oftentimes, the hurler has no comprehension of the sting of her arrow. She has neglected her responsibility of being civil in the interaction. I hope this person has come to understand the wound this caused. And I hope you are now able to flick it off your shoulders gracefully. ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Jayne! I guess the key would be to pay no attention to the ‘hurler’ (ha) BUT… there in lies the problem, the BUT. Well it’s ok now, because at the time I just wouldn’t respond, now that I’m feeling better… I will gracefully acknowledge their attitude and explain why, in no uncertain terms, will I ever be the recipient for their ‘uncool’ remarks… EVER. 😊💜😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Kim,
    Grace Kelly has always seemed to me to be grace under pressure. I love how you express your truth, and like Grace Kelly, your truth also epitomizes grace under pressure. I know that what you’re going through has been/continues to be difficult, but I’m glad you’re able to process it, turn it over and share it. Know what else is grace under pressure? Diamonds, my friend! And you are more beautiful and more precious than all the diamonds in the world! If you ever need to be reminded, I will always be happy to tell you again and again! I’m so glad you’re part of my world! Mona

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now I’m all teary eyed! Ohhhh…! You are so kind. I am so happy we found each other in the blogosphere. I so enjoy reading Wayward Sparkles. It’s such a treat in my otherwise engaged in chronic illness world. Mona, thank you, my friend. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kim, I am sure Grace Kelly would love you. I am sorry you have had it tough of late. Sadly, some people sense our vulnerabilities and go for the jugular. I am dealing with someone of this nature at the moment. Getting them to back off aint easy…

    Liked by 2 people

        1. If the person doesn’t approach you confrontationally, (then use big bad words, Brigid). I like to play a little game called ‘you’re invisible bad person!’ I go on about my merry way greeting and chatting with my friends while I never acknowledge the ogre! Doesn’t matter what they say… I can’t hear them. Where they sit… I won’t sit by them… when they start a group conversation, or interrupt one… I just keep speaking like no one said anything cause that’s who they are, “no one” to me. Instead of putting on my invisibility cloak, I put one on them! It is quite fun! I’ll” be wishing you clarity and patience, just get through this OR turn to violence? No! Haha. Make this person invisible. 😊💜

          Liked by 4 people

        2. If i may join this conversation. We all have these types in our life and i too tomorrow will be forced to face one such person. I always say to myself bella keep your peace. Their opinion or ways have nothing to do with me, they can’t help themselves. It is my job not to take pain, to be deaf and blind to it, and put my sheild of peace up and deflect it all. Nothing enters my heart. I send peace to them. I remain graceful and ignore them as gracefully as possible. One day they may realuse or may not, i aint letting go of my peace. It is their issue not mine. I shine my peace regardless.

          Liked by 2 people

  7. My parents were lucky enough to have dinner with Grace Kelly and the Prince and I believe she was just as full of grace in person. I’m sure she would have liked you, Kim! 🙂
    It can be hard to shake off the nasties when they come up but I agree with you, if you are thoughtful and considerate in how you treat yourself(!) and others, honest and upfront in your mistakes, you can go through life with your head high and shake off the negative stuff more easily. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Amanda… Wow… your parents dined with them? Cool. I will always try to remain neutral, and apologise when I have stepped out of line. But I will not apologise when I have done nothing wrong. There are two sides to a pancake though. I’ll try to keep the negatives away. Thanks so much for your comment! xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, it’s my one funky, distant brush with fame, haha. I think the ability to recognize and apologize when you’re out of line goes a long way. I have no problem letting go of something someone’s done to upset or annoy me, if they can be honest and apologize. I have a lot harder time letting go of it when a person wants to pretend it never happened. Accountability’s important. In the past, I had a tendency (especially as a Canadian woman 😏) to apologize or explain even when it wasn’t my doing, but I’m so over that! Have a great day, Kim!

        Liked by 2 people

  8. Lovely post. Self esteem comes and goes I find. But, these days it is bit stronger. I think having the grace to stay peaceful with a rude comment is quite an achievement. I believe we can improve and conquer all our negative things and improve all that needs improving. And we will win!

    Kim you are graceful and your grace is always present in the roughest of times. Keep your inspiration in front of you and grace will be your trademark signature regardless of the situation.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I like to think that worrying over how you come across to other people, and hoping you are seen as polite etc is a sign that you are. In my experience people who are frequently unpleasant are the ones who don’t worry themselves over it.
    We can all be a bit prickly at times, but if you feel bad about it and apologise then that is graceful.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Lovely thoughts!! I can relate to things others say cutting to the quick. I also think it’s hard to be graceful all the time (or even some semblance of nice), especially when living with chronic illness. I used to try and hide my physical pain (and emotional pain too) but that didn’t work very well and I came across as mad or irritable when I wasn’t meaning to be. Now I try to be proactive and offer an apology in advance (“Sorry for my attitude–my pain is flared and I am not in a great mood, please don’t think I am upset at you”) — then most of my loved ones understand and it strengthens our bond instead of harming it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great way to handle it. I often do that with my husband, he says he likes to check my temperature… I give him fair warning! ha! As far as my family, we do not talk illness. Chronic is a long time and they wanted to fix me. This can’t be fixed. So we just do not discuss it. My husbands family, it’s no big deal. Funny how we have to figure out where we fit, how we respond, why we respond the way we do… That’s a lot of adjustments we make as we are trying to gain some semblance of our ‘normalacy’ in this chronic illness lifestyle we were handed. Thanks for weighing in. It helps to have a lot of options.:)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh wow, yes, thanks for adding that as I also refrain from sharing anything illness related (or overly personal in general) with certain people (and family)–as it isn’t always safe. It certainly can take time to figure out how and where we ‘fit’ ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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