After I Tripped; New Hobbies. (Friday Series #11)

I was now staying with one of my sisters at my Dad’s old home place on a farm. Small, 2 bedrooms, screened in porch, on a lake with farmland that we rented to another neighbor… I found utter peace during those months I lived in that old farmhouse with my sister.

I was attending therapy; physical and mental. I decided I would take on a new hobby or two. Making soaps and candles seemed like proper hobbies for a young lady on a farm. The sister I lived with could sew, craft, cook, garden… some of these skills must’ve rubbed off on me? The other sister, (the youngest of us three girls) was a computer wiz and a talented graphic designer! My 3 brothers all had creative skills, too. I MUST craft… something.

What’s a double boiler? Yes, you need one to make candles. What is Lye? I thought it was a poison to kill rats? No, well it can, but it can also decompose dead bodies! Lye, otherwise known as sodium hydroxide and potassium hydroxide, can be added to your soap to make it harder, or softer. Anyway, this is not a chemistry post, just know it is important

Off to JoAnn’s Fabrics with my sister to get supplies! How-to books, molds, scent, wicks… oh it was glorious! Visions of selling my soaps and candles at the farmers market were dancing in my head. Should I try growing dreadlocks?!?! I could wear tye-dye and bandanas in my hair! I would reinvent myself!!!

Everyone got a jar candle from me that Christmas that did or did not burn. It absolutely did not smell like apple cinnamon! And just to make it really special, each member of my family also got a bar of homemade oatmeal soap from me. I didn’t grind the oatmeal up. Taking a shower with one of those bad boys could lead to severe cuts on the body.

I had to be stopped! 

During this ‘hobby’ time, I received word from my lawyer. A settlement had been reached in the car accident case that I had against the other driver. I won. (I didn’t feel like I was a winner in this at all.) He also informed me that my long term disability through my ex-employer was ending, I would be required to go into the closest social security office and apply for Social Security Disability. He already sent my records to the office.

What… forget it! What…??? Required? No, I don’t think so!

He calmed me down, used some pretty ‘realistic words’ to explain my current circumstances to me, and I agreed to meet (but only meet) with a social security disability office worker…

(To be continued.)

img_0581~Kim

23 comments

    1. It was a terrible time. You are correct. But I can’t make it not happen and those candles I made! Bad. Not to mention the murder soap! That’s a laugh till this day in my family! But yes, I was in pain. I couldn’t get well. And I had super bad PTSD. I was very afraid of just about everything at that time. Then I tried to re-invent myself… I’d lost my identity. I didn’t know who I was.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. I am so glad you are including this part of the transition in your story, Kim. I think it can be really hard for people to understand how hard it is, how much struggle and resistance there is. I also made some attempts at re-inventing that didn’t pan out as well as I had hoped.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is frustrating, isn’t it? Good plan go awry… then after the ill fated jar candles and the murder soap… I get told to go to the SSDI office. I still thought at this point I’d be going back to Seattle! Nope. Epic fail. Yes, it’s a struggle some people understand and other just can’t. Thanks Susan! I hope you are making some advances in the changes you are implementing… or not? OR, we can just give it a little time before I pry! That’s OK too. 😊💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is a rough road right now. I keep faltering at the curves, falling back into behaviors I long to shed. Why the hell is it so hard to put something into motion, even when you can see what it could look like if you do?

        I may have to steal “murder soap” for a poem, Kim!!! It’s brilliant!

        Thank you for being so supportive and brave and real and amazing!!!! xoxoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Brigid! I was extremely lucky to have a family that circled the wagons and let me heal from my initial trauma as I dealt with losing everything I had worked for. I’ve never had to question wether I was loved. That speaks volumes. Yes, the soap and candle making… what an ordeal! Funny! Not an ounce of talent there! Haha! I would find my creative side many years later… although we still refer to my craft closet as my ‘crap closet!’ It’s all in good fun! And it is really darn funny (now)! 😊💜

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes it’s like two steps forward, one step back. Ken and I made soap a couple of times–I would have found it relaxing but it was a group class and some of the people were very Type A–talk about wanting to murder someone with soap!

    Liked by 1 person

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