Fake It Until, Oh Stop!

I’m not a fan of the saying, “Fake it till you make it.” Just STOP being a faker. I just get mad when I hear, “Push through the pain.” Push t-h-r-o-u-g-h the pain??? Then what? There is no reward for pushing through the pain unless you are giving birth. A person with a chronic pain disease never reaches the other side! We never reach pain-free. So you go right ahead and push through while you fake it, Normal Person! (Whew, rant over, I think.)

I’ve been in bed since Tuesday of last week. Yep. Not real happy about the pile of mail that has accumulated on my desk in a matter of days. I got up to take a bath and that about sums up my week. Thankfully, I had written all my posts for last week and had them scheduled for posting. (Every single post was pre-scheduled!) I had some issues with my pancreas then a big old fibromyalgia flare decided to swoop in. Believe me, the things you tell yourself even when you know better. (Even when your husband is shouting at you to get back into bed … and not in a sexy way!)

All I could think was;

Get out of bed!

Make an attempt!

For crying out loud, do s-o-m-e-t-h-i-n-g!!!”

I was able to escape cognitive fog this time around. Now at least when you have cog fog, you really aren’t aware of time passing, so it can almost be a blessing; like a mini brain vacay! So I set up a little office in my bedroom. I have a bag put together of everything I need for a fibro flare (my fibro toolbox)  and did the best I could to maintain my cognitive abilities and wait out the severe pain episodes… I couldn’t believe it took an entire week.

So, spring approaches. I am preparing to venture outside once again. I feel like a bear who hibernates away most of the winter, but I was AWAKE the whole time, and eating! Well, at least I tried to make healthy choices. However, there is a time and a place for pop tarts. Just saying…

Live your best life!

img_0581~Kim

 

 

53 comments

  1. Hugs Kim, sounds awful and tooooo much. Yet, Kim you always come through. Your posts always make me laugh and smile, as you write them in that way. It takes a lot of strenght to make fun if the pain. You are a super hero. I dont have a serious illness, but i cant handle being ill as well as you do. I often feel when i am ill, and had a bath and breakfast it is like what achievement. It horrible being ill and life carries on..it is hard. Well done for all that pre-scheduling . I got my pre scheduling act together.

    Hope you feel much better soon and i hope it lasts for a very long time that is being well

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Bella! I am so glad you laughed! I have to laugh or I’d be in tears for the rest of my life… horrible existence! That is what I feel like everyday with or without intense pain. I feel like I have the flu, except no fever and rarely throwing up. That’s fibro! Now, medications help, meditation and CBT help, a positive attitude helps! But until you do this for a few years… we’ll, it is not fun. I wouldn’t say you get used to it but you kind of do… like oh! That’s normal pain after you stub your toe. Fibro pain when you wince from an ache you didn’t feel coming… but your used to the pain, it still hurts and drags the life outta you but you learn to manage your entire life differently. Ok. Jumping off my soapbox! All done. I know if you were in my position you’d have this figured out far better than I do! But let’s never find out! Stay well, Bella.😉💜

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “There is no reward for pushing through the pain unless you are giving birth” – Hahaha, such a good point! I agree.
    I’m sorry things have been extra yuck and then the latest flare. I’ve felt crap all day with no energy, like the life has been sucked out of me, and like I’ve had an electric shock all up my back. I started feeling so useless and frustrated with myself because I’ve had a growing to-do list and no energy or brain power to do it. As you said, you’re telling yourself to just do sooooomething, and it’s damn frustrating. It’s the little things we can do, the cushions and prep we can put in place for these days, that can help. Now, get back into bed!! 😉
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Damn it! Almost outta here clean… (since Bojana ordered me back in to bed earlier!) I seriously am in bed! Ahem… I mean in my office…😉 It is the most frustrating thing ever! That little voice. (Shut it up!) Get your pillows, weighted robe (ok, just old) your toolbox of things Caz Needs and go to bed! That’s it. You’re done for today. We gotta give ourselves a damn break! No one else will. Hang in there! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh with the Pop Tarts!!! My super guilty treat!! So sorry to hear this Kim!!! I’ve missed you! Glad you’re taking care of yourself! And that your Husband is supporting you-we’re the lucky ones when it comes to that!! Sending you well wishes and hope! 😘 Stace

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just popped over from Claires where she left your link to say hello…It sounds like you are not having such a fun time of it at the moment but you are still smiling…I am in awe of anyone with a chronic illness/condition it is hard for me to imagine although I have given birth. Pop tarts I didn’t know they still sold them not that I want to eat one anytime soon…haha…Take care I do hope you feel much better very soon 🙂

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  5. Finally got back to comment myself! As I read this Kim I was shouting “yes, yes, yes!”…..well maybe not shouting and punching the air, more like whispering from the sofa, but you get the picture. I faked it last night to do dinner with mum and friends, then couldn’t physically roll over in the bed this morning! Hubby lifted me out of bed to have a wash….can’t face washing my hair though. Anyway you already know I shared on Monday Magic and so pleased to see others coming over to read your fab post, Claire x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was so pleased, first that you recognize we need to stop faking it, unless its absolutely a necessity, like a dinner with mum and friends! We play we pay. Secondly that you shared my blog and yes, they are coming to peek! And leaving delightful comments. I think this post struck a nerve with many of us, chronically ill or no. Claire, no punching in the air and yelling… you are already in pain. Feel better enough to wash your hair maybe tomorrow, or the next…??? Thanks again for sharing my link! Much appreciated. ~k.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I hope you feel better soon. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s important to just give in to the flare (RA for me, not fibro) and rest and self care. Doing that is REALLY working through the pain. Trying to keep going and stretching the limits only lengthens the flare, worsens the pain, and causes all the “woulda-coulda-shoulda guilts.” I stop in my tracks and do what I have to do to get better. It’s okay to get off the merry-go-round and rest in our own personal state of inertia. Actually, it’s necessary. Wish I could send you more spoons! Take care. Dawn

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Bless your PT dude!!! Seriously, I want to hug him! That’s a huge turn around in the PT world. When I started, back in 1998… they put me on weight machines, elliptical machines and running on a treadmill. I wasn’t even a runner in real life. Major Kim meltdowns at PT! You made my Sunday! Things are changing for the better!😊💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. well………I am not sure he is like most PTs. I told the MD that I wanted the person she would go to and to not lie to me………I wanted the smartest and the best. I waited a long time to get into to him and he is very good, smart, kind and encouraging. I hope the others are like that but I am guessing he is the at the top. But yes, I felt like hugging him too. I am actually looking forward to tomorrow am session.

        Liked by 1 person

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