The Chronic Illness Hell Flare.

“I will take charge of my illness it cannot be in charge of me.”

Before we begin, can I just explain how much I hate going to the doctor? I mean, getting ready? (Showering is hard but who wants to be the ‘funky’ patient?) The questions! When was your last period? Yes, the question they ask you every damn time, and you can NOT remember! Could you be pregnant? Well, what are the chances of an immaculate conception? The enticing but gross magazines. Even though you want to lose yourself in one of those bad boys all you see is “GERMS!”

So back to my initial statement, “I will take charge of my illness it cannot be in charge of me.” I realize this is now bullshit. Because it has me by the rear and is shaking me like the 70’s commercial for shake N bake “…and I helped!”  (Remember that sweet little child in the commercial who helped? If you don’t, I can’t help you understand.) I am not saying, you can ‘control’ this chronic illness at all times, but I am saying you can take charge by coming up with a plan.

Taking charge (in this case) of a flare that has come out of nowhere and I really don’t even know if it is a flare or if an alien really did succeed in taking over my body… ‘taking charge’ means any damn way we can think of! I currently put out an S.O.S. to my doctor. (Did I mentioned how much I hate going to the doctor?) Yes-I-Did! And I LIKE my doc! But I will do whatever she requests if she will just call!!!

My trip to the chronic illness hell flare is called “My FM Day.” I named it. Notice the positive indication of calling it a ‘day’ instead of three days, or a week, or a month? Just stay with me, I know I sound like a crazy person right now.  There is nothing positive about having a flare. I let others know by stating I am having an “FM Day” so I do not have to verbally abuse them.  Those who care to know more will ask. Those who understand will not need to ask and will retreat. So, take a moment and name your ‘hell’ day, week, or month. (Please inform your loved ones of said name.)

  • Got a name?
  • Now get a box, bag or suitcase.
  • And gathered supplies for…

“My [insert hell flare name] Day”

  • Adult coloring books and colored pencils.
  • DVDs.
  • Netflix.
  • Amazon Prime Video.
  • Zentangle workbooks and gel pens.
  • Sketchbooks.
  • Journals.
  • Crossword Puzzle Books.
  • Playing Cards.
  • etc.

There will be rescue medications we will have on hand for flares. At times, we will have an S.O.S. call into our doctor. There will be soft PJs and lots of pillows on the bed. Don’t text! Don’t write letters! Talk as little as possible because you will not have nice things to say! Seclude yourself as much as possible but when the flare is over, it is over. Taking charge means we get through IT however we need to!

We will get through this!

IMG_5013~Kim