Dear Future Me …

May 2018

Dear Future Me,

You will be reading this when you turn 70, in 2037. You will have had fibromyalgia for 40 years. Maybe you will be cured, perhaps not. Either way, I am writing so you remember your time in 2018. How you searched and fought to live your best life with this chronic disease that is fibromyalgia.

As I write this in 2018, I am 50 years old. I have accomplished many things… I thought my life would be very different but then a chronic illness and its dastardly friends showed up and took my home and my livelihood in a matter of a few short years. But I am handling it. I learned to live with daily pain. I managed to get married. I started a support group and a blog. I published my first book, never thought I could ever do that.

We had some hard times too. We lost brother Kory in 2003. Although my marriage was celebrated in 2004, we went through a breakdown in family communication. There were misunderstandings right around 2011. Then there was the pancreatitis scare. So many surgeries and so many lost memories. We beat it, but that is a time I still grieve over. I can’t make what happened any better because I can’t recall the majority of two whole years. I hope you have figured out a way to repair those relationships. I have lost my way at this point. Letters and apologies did not work. I must have done something awful… did you figure out what it was?

I suppose we have lost more family members by the time you read this letter in 2037. Mom and Dad will be gone. Aunties and uncles, even some cousins will be gone. And the next generation should be well on their way towards taking over our family lake home; StoweAway. I wonder if they and their children will realize all that it took for us to make it what it is? A safe place for family and friends to gather and enjoy the company of one another. I hope you have made sure they know how special StoweAway is. How much work it takes to maintain this property. How many meetings, we five original board members held, to ensure the property would remain safely in the family. I believe you will ensure they are well versed in what it takes.

I am hoping this letter finds you and Jeff living the RV life full-time. We are working so hard right now in 2018 to make this happen. Remember all the classes we took about financial markets and trading platforms? Jeff quit his job in 2017 and started driving fulltime for Uber and Lyft. It was a jump into the unknown! We were so scared. It is working though. It was frightening in the beginning, but we knew this was the only way we would become mobile, making our dream of travel come true! All the planning, research, trade shows, classes, and textbooks! I hope you smile now as you are reading this. I hope you are smiling because you ARE living the RV life, Jeff and I are trying so desperately to get to.

I hope your pain has subsided. I hope you still look at our hubby and tell him you love him, every single day. I hope you still find laughter in each and every day and that you finally feel like you deserve to be happy. Because you do. You never gave up! You fought very hard from the beginning, then you found acceptance and did the best you could for you, your husband, and all those who came and went in our lives. You fought a good fight! Yes, sometimes it was just minute by minute, but you did it. If you are reading this letter, you made it! I hope you are wise and witty! I want you to lead a life of love, peace, and joy in your heart.

Happy 70th birthday, Kim!

From me, 2018.

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