What is ‘intent’ and why does it matter?

It is important to realize that some people just cannot understand what fibromyalgia is. They may want to, but it is challenging. (Remember how difficult it was for you to understand this disease in the beginning?) However, most of these people who are trying to understand are the people in your life who stand by you. No matter what. They may not always say the right thing or do the right thing (possibly according to what you believe is unacceptable behavior), but they are trying. Not only are they struggling with the loss of the person they knew you to be, but now they must get to know a new you. You look the same, but you are not! Again, confusing.

Trying to interpret another person’s ‘intent’ is almost impossible… is ignorance malicious? No, ignorance is not malicious, uninformed but not malicious. Now, if there is blatant ill-will behind a comment, they are malicious, and that is unacceptable. If a person is saying something to intentionally hurt you, they do not get to claim ignorance!

We must not forget the unique sort of person who believes that their negative past experiences, they believe, entitle them to treat others any way they please. They demand others owe them something because of the mistreatment they have suffered. These individuals readily admit to treating others poorly, because this is how they were treated. Well, I say, “Enough is enough, grow up and get yourself some therapy!” No one gets a ‘pass’ because they were mistreated. I have empathy for these people but I will no longer allow anyone to harm me, nor will I excuse abusive behavior.

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You decide who is a positive force in your life and who is not. I recommend you surround yourself with positive individuals who make your life better and you, in return, can be a positive force in their lives.