I Can Not Help the Way You Feel

When you are chronically ill, everything you attempt takes more time. You have to think through things before you do them. Sometimes you must stop and re-start, several times, because you cannot remember what step you needed to complete next.

The tenacity it takes to stick with a task and see it through to completion, not only is exhausting, but you have time for one task per day. One room cleaned, one event attended, one appointment attended, one planned excursion … ONE. ONE. ONE!

One task per day is all you can do because it takes all damn day to make it happen.

This leaves many tasks incomplete. If I do A, then I do not get to complete B. If I attend C, then I do not get to do D. This is a problem for my Virgo self! I will admit I am a bit anal when it comes to keeping my home up and my errands completed. I have to learn to let that go. But that is so very difficult.

So what do I do?  As soon as my husband gets home from work I barrage him with apologies… I didn’t get this done because I am trying to do that. I am so sorry I didn’t get the other thing done yet. I’m sorry! And I keep apologizing for an entire list of things I did not get completed. It drives him nuts! He finally reached his boiling point with me. I certainly wasn’t expecting to hear what came out of his mouth …

 

girl-2934257_1920

 

 

Point taken, my love. Point taken.

Screen Shot 2018-02-25 at 12.48.43 PM~Kim

 

15 comments

  1. Eugh, guilt is a biggie for me too. Quite a powerful point, with how others can’t help how you feel. Puts the control of our feelings back in our court to too, because only we can affect change in terms of our thoughts and emotions, to whatever degree we can. Thought-provoking post, Kim! x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I apologize a lot too, even know my husband is just always so patient and understanding. I’ll apologize and He’s always like “I didn’t say anything” with his cute smile and peacefulness on his face. He is the best! My rock for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.