The hair-ordeal…

I don’t know why this came to me… but you know how sometimes we do things we know we shouldn’t, but we just need to tempt fate. Give it a nudge… maybe to see if we still have a pulse?

Here’s a little memory for you! Just laugh and enjoy.

I was on my first mid-winter break during my first year of college and had broken up with my first “college” cheating boyfriend! The thing was, he was cheating on me with two other “Kim’s!” (Now that is convenient!) During the break, I was mainly bored, so I decided to bleach my hair.

I am a natural blonde. Yes, the curtains match the rug. Now, no more crude jokes because that’s the only one I can think of and it really was not funny to every person who has ever asked me that! (Maybe a little funny.)

Moving on. I decided to bleach my hair with a home box coloring system. Why? Because I wanted to be a ‘platinum’ blonde like Blondie (Debra Harry). I burned the hell out of my scalp! Red patches. Scabs. Bad news. Then, when the debauchery healed, I decided to have a friend give me a home perm. My hair literally began falling off my head in clumps.

I called my cousin who was a stylist and told her what I had done. I had to leave for college the next day, and I needed her to just cut my hair off. She said she was at home watching a football game with some friends but to come over and she’d cut my hair after the game.

So I drove the 45 minutes to her house. I sat down, shedding hair, waiting for the game to end. I decided it would be a good idea to light up a cigarette. I lit up and turned my head to talk to my cousin when she said “your hair is on fire,” and I agreed. I thought “fire” was a bit of a strong term to use for frizzled out hair? She then ran at me yelling your hair is on fire and started slapping my head…

My hair had indeed caught on fire, I could now smell the burning hair. Did I mention my cousin and her friends were having a few beers while watching the game? No? Well, they were. That is how they finally got the fire put out, with a beer.

As my cousin schooled me on the reasons why one cannot color hair and then ‘perm’ it, she began cutting. My cousin is not really a drinker, so she was pretty buzzed! She began laughing as she was cutting and I knew this was my penance, a tipsy lady with scissors. I looked in the mirror when it was all over… it was a damn nice cut! I couldn’t believe it! If Joan Jett would’ve been a blonde, I would’ve been her! I liked it.  I put on my big 80’s white hoop earrings and my black leather jacket and headed back to college.

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I ran into my cheating ex in the bookstore the first day back at college. He looked at me, stared at me until he recognized me and smiled real big … and I said, “wrong Kim, dumbass.”

Ah… attitude in check!

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