Death and taxes, the only two things we can count on in this life. What if there are more things we can rely on? For instance, being wounded, hurt, used, and even abused in some shape or form. Everyone I have ever talked to has known heartbreak, loss, and pain. Yes, there are varying degrees, there are also varying degrees of coping skills. The lack of coping skills has nothing to do with personality, education, or intellect. Coping skills develop through practice caused by incidents.
Something has to happen to you for you to develop the appropriate coping skills.
In psychology, coping skills are defined as skills used to consciously solve personal and interpersonal problems. You are deliberately trying to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict.
However, the effectiveness of your coping skills depends on the type of stress, the individual, and the circumstance. Societal support structures are big influencers here.
I believe it was Weiten, a well known behavioral analyst who developed the following three forms of coping skills;
Appraisal-focused. You may alter your goals and values, distance yourself from the situation or deny it all together. Humor is often used to cope by deflecting the event.
Problem-focused. You take control of the situation, seek out information and evaluate the pros and cons. You work to get to the root of your problem.
Emotion-focused. Here come meditation and relaxation techniques. The flip side is releasing pent-up emotions; boxing, yelling, screaming, crying even laughing hysterically.
So, how are you currently coping? Is it working for you? Do you need some professional assistance? Can you change your behavior patterns yourself? OR are your coping skills firmly in place? Working quite well for you, because this too is a result, optimal at that!
I’ve only covered the tip of the iceberg… there are hundreds of coping mechanisms available out there. We just need to find what works best for us, individually. I hope this post gets you thinking about this. The more tricks we have, multiple coping skills being so essential, the better we will be able to handle the roadblocks we encounter on our individual journies.
Live your best life!