I took a bath. I ran the water for the tub, and this time, along with my Epsom salts, I put in bubbles… a bubble bath! I was feeling irritated, emotional, and just Done. I made sure the bath water was hot. As I started to carefully undress, noticing what was invisible under my clothing was so visible without.
Fibromyalgia is called an invisible illness as are so many other conditions. But really, they are not invisible if you pay attention. I think I am relieved that so many people just do not have the time nor the interest to pay attention.
I pulled my sweatshirt over my head. Ouch! That right shoulder has been jamming on me for a week. I turn to put the sweatshirt in the hamper… OUCH! My lower back is always a buggar. I slid off my slippers and sweatpants then the rest of my undergarments… I started looking at all the bruises. Some from falls, some from running into things, a few from merely using my massager on my legs. Then I peered at the hole in my stomach, healed now. I had a stomach tube protruding out of my belly for a while. Now, I just have two belly buttons.
I walked towards the tub but stopped, I turned around and looked at my face in the mirror. It was not the face of a healthy person. The lines of pain are present, the skin color is grayish, the eyes that once sparkled blue were dark, almost black. No, this was not the face of a healthy person.
I slowly crawled into that bathtub welcoming the searing heat. I slid down and let my whole self-fall beneath the water. It felt so good. I eased myself up and blew on some of the bubbles.
I was still here in this world. With all the bumps, bruises, and pain. I am still here. And I am enjoying my bubble bath.