I won!!! 700,000.00!

I received this letter from Yahoo, U.K. & Ireland division office in England. Along with a request for my personal information and banking information… for one second, I wanted to believe! But I went to online scammers.com and there they were.

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This was nothing more than a scam. I was randomly picked to be scammed. Possibly because of my “frail” nature; having a chronic illness. More likely they just hoped I was simply stupid. I am neither of those things they presumed. I wasn’t scammed, but I feel a sense of violation. That somehow I was inappropriately touched or exposed and left defenseless.

This brought up a few more issues. This morning one of my dogs had run through an open gate on our property and disappeared. Come to find out that there was a trespasser in our yard last night trying to steal our bikes. When the wannabe thief left the property sans any bike, s/he neglected to close the gate, so the dog escaped. It took us an hour to find her.

Stay out of my yard! If it is not yours, don’t touch it! If it is not your money to give, don’t give it! If you are trying to scam people out of their money, rot in hell!

I was angry. I felt taken advantage of and weak. I was losing my sense of control. (I already had one hell of a week and am just getting back on my feet, now this!) So I needed a plan to regain some control, a feeling of power over powerlessness, a sense of security; no means no!

In order to figure this out, I had to talk with some very important “me’s.” The one-year-old, the 16-year-old, and twenty-something year old and me, now. I know this sounds nuts! But it works. What do you need to feel safe? Secure? Protected?

A one-year-old needs something entirely different than a twenty-something-year-old. A 16-year-old needs something very different than a 50-year-old. So I made a list. I gathered my supplies, and I bought some stuff. (On Amazon, overnight delivery!) Every item I gathered or bought brought me a feeling of comfort. A sense of safety from bodily harm. Then, when I was done, a feeling of peace washed over my weariness. I had regained control.

The “stuff” I gathered and bought isn’t what is important.  The important thing is I was feeling powerless in my own home. I wanted my power back! So I made conscious choices to do that by taking care of my internal and external needs. Sometimes, when you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control, you need to just sit down and take an inventory. Gather the things you need until that peace washes over you and you are feeling back in control.

That is the only control you have, and that is your reaction.

Version 2~Kim