It Happened.

I am on my third day with a flare that is so quirky, one moment I am able to sit up and watch some TV and two minutes later, I feel as if I am approaching death’s door. I have had this disease for over 20 years, I have not experienced such a volatile flair with the intensity switching so swiftly! This is a new type of flare for me. I am clinging to the knowledge that I know this flare is temporary and will end.

I feel manic when the pain decreases. Almost as quickly, a sense of panic when the severity of the pain increases dramatically and comes at me.  I am cycling with these severe fluctuations, hourly. I definitely know I am not in control of this flare in any way. I am just trying to not let the anxiety of the fluctuating pain levels throw me into a full-blown panic attack. Pain is pain, but panic leads to increased painful symptoms. 

Do you remember having a flare that was odd, such as this one with swift and severe changing pain levels? Are your flares similar to the levels of increased pain and symptoms you experience? Do your pain levels vary vastly with each flare, leaving you questioning what additional symptoms you will experience?

How do you experience your flares?

4-up on 11-9-17 at 2.00 PM (compiled)~Kim

 

12 comments

  1. Kin, I am so sorry you are dealing with such a terrible flare. I really hope all of this will end soon for you. I do understand how frustrating MS flares are and it is probably different from yours. They seem so unpredictable and just irritating! Take care Sweetie and much love!!!

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  2. I’m sorry this flare has you feeling such a rollercoaster of emotions Kim. I think one of the worst characteristics of this disorder is the absolute unpredictability of the flares. I think I have had similar flares when faced with additional environmental and emotional events in my life. Some of the worst pain and rapidly shifting symptoms but the scariest part for me is how out of control I feel. This brings up childhood trauma for me and I need to constantly remind myself that this is temporary. Funny how fear can creep in and make me doubt that. Hoping you are using your rescue medications and being very kind to yourself. You are NOT alone and “this too shall pass my friend”. ~ Tamara

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    1. Thank you for sharing that Tamara. Yes, indeed the unpredictability is very hard. I loved reading your comment and how aware you are of what your flares are, the stressors that you consider as added probable reasons for this type of flare and your awareness of wha5 this can do. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Yes, this is a temporary increase and shall pass. ~Kim

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  3. Oh Kim, I can imagine the anxiety with such experiences. It’s that lack of control you mention that gets me, as well as the unpredictability of illness and pain. I think at the moment for me I’m struggling with the rib pain (chest infection and likely broken/cracked rib from coughing) on top of the usual rubbishness, and that’s thrown me somewhat because I don’t quite know what to do with myself. Anything new or unusual can be hard to manage. Keeping the panic and anxiety quiet is easier said than done, but just know that you can cope, you can survive this and deal with what comes your way, bit by bit. Please be gentle with how you speak to yourself and get plenty of rest when you can, especially right now. Sending hugs and best wishes your way… Caz x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Appreciate your comment! The rib pain must be excruciating, so sorry to hear of this! I definitely will figure out the best way to cope with this, the cycling of this flare really knocked me down but I will be kind to myself and I am figuring what environmental factors played into this kind of flare. ~Kim

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