Meditation, Mindfullness, and Engagement?

Ohm, Ohm, Ohm… meditation is the key?

I don’t meditate.

I am mindful that the leaf that I picked up off the ground is [insert awareness statement], unique with enthusiasm?

I am not mindful.

How do I, who is in constant pain, who spent almost 20 years trying NOT TO FEEL my pain suppose to practice, instill, and be aware of every little mundane task completed during my day?

Hold on!

I’m not against the practice of these things! Maybe you can find the “at peace with oneself” lifestyle that works for you! Go for it! I just will not be joining you. I will be watching Netflix in my jammies to find my kind of peace.

I deal with chronic pain by dismissing it. I use skilled mind work, trained by a licensed therapist to get it right! I also try to complete minor tasks to keep my ‘pain-firing’ brain focused on other things. I was trained to depend on the method of thinking through the pain, literally, in order to deal with chronic pain. It does not mean my pain doesn’t exist. It does not mean I am always successful in dismissing my pain. Pain is there. Always.

I haven’t mastered this technique, it doesn’t always work all of the time. But it does work some of the time! This is not an example of pushing through the pain. Let’s be clear about that. NEVER attempt to just push through the pain! You will experience the mother of all fibro flares if and when you do. (I know who you are!)

I just do not involve myself in programs where I am to sit still and focus on any part of my body. When I am still and mindful of my body, I become incapacitated with pain. I’m just not wired for these kinds of practices.

I am working on becoming and staying engaged in the present. 10 years ago, that was so far out of the realm of possibilities for me. But on this day, I can say, I am engaged in my surroundings; good, bad, or indifferent. I don’t know if I always enjoy being engaged in my environment, or if I am any good at it? All I know is every day I try.

IMG_3178 2~Kim


  1. To be honest, I think Netflix in my jammies is probably my kind of peace too. Very well said when there’s so much coverage on meditation and mindfulness (doesn’t work for everyone, and not one way of doing it is better than another)! xx

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  2. Hi Joanna. That sounds really hard. Sitting still and meditating sounds impossible. The pain wins in the end, I guess. I often feel mondfullness instruction is given without cultural context in the West. In attempting to make it a “scientific” intervention we lose and don’t properly appreciate and respect the cultural context in which it arises. Best wishes and keep trusting yourself

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