Get a Clue, I’m Not Your Opinion.

Everyone seems to have an opinion, but not all have a clue. Carefully and continuously decide who to surround your self with. Those who can influence your decisions and whose judgments you take to heart must be conscientiously chosen. The more public you become, the more vulnerable you become. Make good choices. You are the company you keep.

I like to think of myself as having a ‘force field’ that no one can cross unless I grant them entrance. Much like Wonder Woman! Yes, like Linda Carter as Wonder Woman, I stop people dead in their tracks with my ‘force field’. I can keep people at a distance, far away from my inner self. My personal life, hopes, fears, and dreams are not for the clueless … I will not share certain details that make me vulnerable with those I do not trust.

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The people I choose to let into my inner Wonder Woman circle must meet criteria I have come up with to deem them as safe, meaning I can be vulnerable with them. After reading a few self-help books, realizing I was being told to change everything about me, I stopped! I put a few things into perspective. I’m not changing. I’m good with me and what I’ve become. Life has taken me down a few paths I normally would not have chosen but I made it through! Those journies have made me who I am. I am strong, competent, unafraid and kind but I come with scars of my own. Furthermore, self-help book pioneers, with no experience of devastation in your perfect little world, I’m not available for you to ‘mold’. You be you and I’ll be me, then we can decide if we want to take this relationship further. Comprendo?

What do I look for? Here are a few things that I rely on before the force field is lowered. A breach in even one of these areas undoubtedly ends with bitterness and pain.

  • Do I respect you?
  • Do you inspire me?
  • Do you assist me in expanding my personal growth?
  • Do your opinions matter to me?
  • Do I want you more involved in my personal life?
  • Do you have it together?

The last point, do you have it together is really very simple. Are you owning what you are in life? Are you admitting you have your own ideas, opinions and personal demons you struggle with? Because I will admit those types of things. I am not perfect, far from it. When a person gets close to me and pounces on my vulnerabilities, I have made a huge mistake in judgment. That person must be removed from my inner circle. That is so very painful! To trust and have it trashed. To be someone’s ‘opinion’ is not my idea of an inner circle confidant. I am more than an opinion, and those close to me in my life are too.

You choose who you surround yourself with, and it must be handled with care and consideration. The backlash of choosing wrongly stings for a very long time.

IMG_3180~Kim

10 thoughts on “Get a Clue, I’m Not Your Opinion.

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  1. Very well said and written. At various times in my life I have had to stand still long enough to really examine the circle of people closest in my life at that time. It could be co-workers, neighbors, friends, even social events or committees. Something was “off” and that energy was pulling me down and/or preventing me from being me! In my case I tend to collect what I call “takers”, someone who takes more energy and emotion from you than they can or are willing to give. When I find that theme in the majority of my circle (support system), I have to make decisions to let people go so we both can continue to grow!! Few truly understand this concept but realistically we are all moving at different paces and at different places in this game called life.

    Yes, it can be painful. Very painful. But true growth comes from Pain. I’ve never meet anyone yet who said “I’m not in any pain so I think I’ll change that”. I truly believe we only change anything in our lives when the pain is great enough.

    I really appreciated your questions for trust and investment. That is something I’ll use constantly now. Healing and learning to put me first.

    Thanks so much Kim for another great blog!
    ~Tamara

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    1. You are so welcome Tamara! Thank you for the nice compliment. I’m glad this blog will help you invest in your worth, choosing wisely who gets to be in your inner circle. It is a privledge! The energy vampires tend to circle… beware! But that feeling you said about something being off, that’s your touchstone. That’s when you start asking yourself am I with the people who I want to be with. Excellent mention of the gut feeling. Big red flag when that happens!~Kim

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  2. Kim, Adored this awesome snippet- you have a wonderful eloquent way with words(quite poetic)- easy to read plus profoundly beautiful- thank You! Is it okay if share a link to here with my fellow fibro warriors as do not want them to miss out on this gem?Sending much love across the Atlantic plus am hoping the Harvest full moon will not see you with more blessings plus hope for sure there will be less challenges, truly! Take fabulous care of your awesome self plus keep shining your beautiful light! Thank You. Love, Clara your chronic pain warrior amiga across the sea

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Kim, Sent you emails though no replies-did you get my parcel with the handmade friendship bracelet made for You? Need to know as have had items go missing! Hope it did make its way to you safely.
        Sending warmest wishes to you, huggles, love Clara 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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