I think I’m going to Snap!

It is Sunday, a beautiful Sunday morning! I am so tense, so anxiety-ridden, I feel like I am going to start screaming and not be able to stop!  This is what it feels like when you have gone through a fibro flare and are now returning to manageable pain. The rescue medications you took during your flare causes this anxiety once you stop taking the opioids you needed for the pain during the flare. Your body wants more…


At least, this is how I feel and this makes me want to take more rescue medications so I don’t have to feel like this, but I never do. I won’t. Why? Because it would be too easy and too habitual to reach for that opioid to ease “feelings” instead of pain. Here in lies the difference between an addict and a chronic pain patient.

Now, on the flip side who am I to judge? Maybe you need to take something for anxiety, depression, pain, on a consistent basis and those medications may be opioid-based. That is for you and your doctor to decide. I take prescription medications daily, but nothing that packs a punch like my rescue medications. When the pain is bad … so are my meds! Here is the real kicker … I am running out of medical options to relieve my daily pain and anxiety! My restless legs and exhaustion are also daily battles. My depression is still manageable with the antidepressants I use. But the rest … all becoming null and void.

I have been on medications for 20 years, my system is beginning to just ‘ignore’ the presence of the medications I take. (And I was freaking out over antibiotic over-use!) I have to figure out how to manage my pain that occurs every day, without my regular medications! How do I do this without ending up in a puddle on the floor in pain?

I do not have the answer. Yet.

I have been researching hemp oil that does not contain THC. When you think of marijuana, you think of getting high. The high that comes from smoking a joint is the amount of THC in the type of marijuana you use. Hemp oil, at least the kind I am going to try, has no THC in it. It does have naturally occurring compounds that reduce pain, stress, and anxiety. Will it work? I have absolutely no idea! But I hope it will…

This Sunday morning, as I sat in a dark corner of the room trying to stifle the feeling of wanting to scream… I decided enough is enough. I have done my research! I have read numerous pros and cons of hemp oil use! There is no way to know if this will work until I try it. I went to the computer and I ordered myself some hemp oil from a company I can honestly say seems to know what they are talking about. They have been going strong for 35 years. That says something to me.

Here goes nothing.

IMG_0246 (1)~Kim

UPDATE: I tried the oil and a vape pen. I do believe there was some benefit but not enough relief to make another expensive purchase. So, I will continue to search. I will find an oil that works for me or a vape pen… I think I will go to a dispensary next time. I believe I will find the right oil to make this an acceptable alternative to my current medication. Wish me luck!

(Pick Your Box)