Don’t shoot the Messenger!

I’ve often heard that ignorance is bliss! I can’t say I agree with that. Is ignorance chronic? The jury is still out. I personally do not believe ignorance is chronic. The way the information is delivered plays a big part. How many messengers have been killed during the delivery of a message to Kings and Queens? Hence, don’t kill the messenger. There is knowledge to be gained.

There are things we want to learn and things we simply do not. We pay teachers to educate our children. (My hat is off to the teachers of this world!) If we go to college the students pay their educators, could this possibly mean college students could fire their professors? No, after all, that would be shooting the messenger, wouldn’t it? Knowledge can be volatile. There are wars over what are believed to be Holy Lands, foremost ports of call, and fertile lands with the most precious metals. In all countries! There continues to be a war over oil, still not an admission on that one…but I didn’t shoot the messenger.

I find that most people are interested in current events, illnesses, and proposed tax rates. Current events are a big area to cover; the political arena, entertainment, sports. Most people have their preference. Illness, I find most people have a vested interest in. An illness affecting children, relatives, even public personalities. We don’t want people to be ill, but we like to know if they are. Taxes; death and taxes are the only two things you can count on in this life. At least that was what my Dad taught me that by the time I was 6.


Talking with someone about an illness that is chronic is risky. Do they have a vested interest in you? Do they love you? Are they in the medical profession or the mental health profession? Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they want to talk about a chronic illness with you. Chronic is forever, chronic is a lifetime and in reality, you can learn bigger words, better definitions but the bottom line remains the same, it’s chronic. Think of the difficulty you had accepting this diagnosis in the beginning? And now, since it is an invisible chronic illness, you look pretty much the same, talk the same, and you want another person to take you at your word that this supposed illness you have? This illness that you say you have for no apparent reason other than a medical guess at this point is real? And chronic too? Well, no ma’am, that doesn’t fly where I come from!

This is what those of us who have chronic conditions are up against. We are quick to kill the messenger. Why wouldn’t we be seen as unbelievable? There are times we demand it! We must give others who ask about our illness the facts, just the facts. If anyone wants to learn more, they will ask. This isn’t about loving us enough or less than. This is a hard thing to understand. As we are told to be patient with ourselves, can’t we extend the courteously?


I will close with a message. Please remember to stay interested in the world and its events. Large and small. Learn to communicate with friends and loved ones about things other than your illness. It is so easy to get caught up in fibro speak. That is what we do, research, go to doctor appoints, try new medications. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed we are in fight mode. We fight to try to live a normal life with this deceptive little monster called Fibromyalgia. Somewhere during this fight for normalcy, we forgot how to hold a decent conversation about anything other than chronic illness. Don’t shoot the messenger.