The longer you are chronically ill, the less likely you are to receive a phone call, a card, or flowers. These acts of kindness are a part of your past. You continue to battle your chronic disease but as time passes you get … nothing! You will need all the mental strength you can muster.
So I’d like to review the media picture I posted above.
- I believe I am a mentally strong person. I really could care less if I am even asked how I am feeling, doing, or what I’m watching on the television. (I actually prefer it because after 20 years, how many more times can you explain it?)
- I do love challenges! Learning new things, figuring out the best way to go about certain tasks, but I am not keen on change. Change for me is difficult and even sometimes painful. I think I go through change so much in one day with fibromyalgia that I do not seek out other forms of change.
- It has taken years of fighting and trying to change what I can not to finally get to ‘acceptance’. I know what I can’t control and I determine how I react to a situation. I do my best to feel happiness.
- I try to be kind and I believe I am always fair. I have been known to speak my mind! (This is why I sometimes question if I am kind?)
- I will take a calculated risk but I will not be jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to skydive anytime soon.
- And finally, I love to celebrate milestones in the lives of the people around me! I want to be there and I want to cheer them on. I don’t always get to attend, and to me, this is where mental strength is most important. The phone calls always come, “where were you?” There is no understanding that I am the one that missed out! I am the one who didn’t get to experience that celebration.
Truthfully, I am not mentally strong all the time. Sometimes I am a pile of emotional woes. During those times I am usually in tremendous pain or a deep depression or both! I know that I should just shut myself away from the world. I usually do but there are consequences either way.
The depression I experience is a coexisting condition of my Fibromyalgia Syndrome. Getting through the dark winter is a two-fold problem, the cold is bad for my fibromyalgia and the dark is bad for my depression. I try to keep my mouth shut and a permanent smile on my face when in the presence of others. It’s just like being in a play. I pretend I am in the lead role and strive to stay in character. If I can complete my performance, I receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers! (Yeah, right.)
I think the beginning of daylight savings time should be a national holiday. I have it circled on my calendar. I have exclamation points and a smiley face. I am like a kid counting down the days to Christmas. That is what the start of daylight savings time is to me. Is there a better holiday? Not for me! The days will be lighter, longer, and spring is on its way! The actress in me can take a bow and she will receive those flowers!
Season after season I am in the lead role in this play. “Smiles everyone!” The curtain goes up. This acting gig is tough, the set can be dangerous, and it is year-round work. Somebody? Anyone? Bring me some damn flowers!