Bring Me Some Damn flowers!

The longer you are chronically ill, the less likely you are to receive a phone call, a card, or flowers. These acts of kindness are a part of your past. You continue to battle your chronic disease but as time passes you get … nothing! You will need all the mental strength you can muster.

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So I’d like to review the media picture I posted above.

  1. I believe I am a mentally strong person. I really could care less if I am even asked how I am feeling, doing, or what I’m watching on the television. (I actually prefer it because after 20 years, how many more times can you explain it?)
  2. I do love challenges! Learning new things, figuring out the best way to go about certain tasks, but I am not keen on change. Change for me is difficult and even sometimes painful. I think I go through change so much in one day with fibromyalgia that I do not seek out other forms of change.
  3. It has taken years of fighting and trying to change what I can not to finally get to ‘acceptance’. I know what I can’t control and I determine how I react to a situation. I do my best to feel happiness.
  4. I try to be kind and I believe I am always fair. I have been known to speak my mind! (This is why I sometimes question if I am kind?)
  5. I will take a calculated risk but I will not be jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to skydive anytime soon.
  6. And finally, I love to celebrate milestones in the lives of the people around me! I want to be there and I want to cheer them on. I don’t always get to attend, and to me, this is where mental strength is most important. The phone calls always come,  “where were you?” There is no understanding that I am the one that missed out! I am the one who didn’t get to experience that celebration.

Truthfully, I am not mentally strong all the time.  Sometimes I am a pile of emotional woes. During those times I am usually in tremendous pain or a deep depression or both! I know that I should just shut myself away from the world. I usually do but there are consequences either way.

The depression I experience is a coexisting condition of my Fibromyalgia Syndrome. Getting through the dark winter is a two-fold problem, the cold is bad for my fibromyalgia and the dark is bad for my depression. I try to keep my mouth shut and a permanent smile on my face when in the presence of others. It’s just like being in a play. I pretend I am in the lead role and strive to stay in character. If I can complete my performance, I receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers! (Yeah, right.)

I think the beginning of daylight savings time should be a national holiday. I have it circled on my calendar. I have exclamation points and a smiley face. I am like a kid counting down the days to Christmas. That is what the start of daylight savings time is to me. Is there a better holiday? Not for me! The days will be lighter, longer, and spring is on its way! The actress in me can take a bow and she will receive those flowers!

Season after season I am in the lead role in this play. “Smiles everyone!” The curtain goes up. This acting gig is tough, the set can be dangerous, and it is year-round work. Somebody? Anyone? Bring me some damn flowers!

 

IMG_0172~Kim

5 comments

  1. I wish I could send you flowers.
    Just from what I’ve read. You are a mentally strong person.
    Each season brings different challenges for me. Winter brings pain, summer brings vertigo. Spring and Fall are a toss up.
    But I still love daylight savings time!
    We all need flowers some time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Think about a big colorful bouquet of spring flowers and on the card it says Happy daylight savings time! If we ruled the world Wendy that is the first thing we should do, make-up important holidays and nix a few not to our liking! Yay for us!~Kim

      Liked by 1 person

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