That Bridge was Burned!


I have a tale to tell on today’s blog…

Once upon a time, there was a blogger named…”Kate.”  Kate was thrilled that a fibromyalgia support group leader had used one of her posts to share with her group! So, with anticipation high, Kate went on to the group leader’s site to extend common courtesies and thank the group leader for sharing her post and mentioning her blog to the group. In order to make a comment on the site, Kate had to sign in, so she did. Kate made her comment and was almost immediately messaged by the group leader who hoped she would stay with the group, Kate was honored to be invited and said she would.

As this tale continues, Kate was orienting herself to the new site. Putting in information on her profile page and putting a purple ribbon on her profile as that is the color for fibromyalgia, there was even a diary that could remain public or personal. Very cool indeed! Kate received two more messages from the group leader that was very positive and then signed off for the evening.

The very next morning Kate got up and went to look at her new group site. Kate had been blocked. What had she done? She read the rules and didn’t break those. Maybe someone in a group just did not want her to belong? She could see posts from the group leader asking what had happened to Kate? Kate was able to sign back on, got a message to the group leader, and was again blocked within the hour. Kate’s only concern was that this nice group know that she did not quit on them. Kate was not a quitter. Happily, Kate read an email message sent to her by the group leader. Kate knows now that she was heard before the block button was pushed again and that was the only thing she was concerned with. However, the nice group leader was very upset that someone had blocked Kate and was going to find out who did that.  That site has many groups and hosts around 4,700 members. I think the chances of that are scarce. Kate appreciated the thoughtfulness but does not feel the need to know. Kate will not be returning to the nice group, she doesn’t have the energy for such nonsense on a support group site. Kate did want to wish the group the best in their journey!

What would you do if this happened to you?

  • Would you be personally offended? How could you be, you don’t even know who blocked you or why?
  • Would you write insulting things about the site and post them? Why should everyone suffer because one person got blocked?
  • Would you cross a burning bridge to find out who blocked you? Be careful what you wish for, they may have a very reasonable explanation.
  • You know it wasn’t a mistake because you were blocked twice. So what would you do?


If this happened to me… I would do as Kate did and get a message to the group leader just so she knew I did not walk away from the group. But that is it. If I get upset I have a flare, if I have a flare, I lose time, if I lose time – the blocker won. In the real world, I don’t know that person and have no reason to be upset with them as they have not personally harmed me in any way that hurts me. Now if someone started messing with my blog, sent me nasty emails, or put obscene things on my Facebook page, I would be quick to respond. I-would-bury-that-person.

So in closing, no one was harmed. I made a new friend with the nice group leader and we will stay in touch to simply share ideas and personal stories. I feel a renewed energy for writing my blog and I want to prepare the best posts possible. I will be working on some new ideas and will share them with you on Wednesday. Until then, I appreciate You!