Today is “do-able”.

I was officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2001, but a car accident in 1998 was the catalyst for my chronic pain. By 2011, I was pretty confident in my ability to handle my fibromyalgia. I was great at scheduling out my household duties with rest included in the schedule. I had one primary doctor who I liked. She prescribed my medications and understood fibromyalgia. I was happily married since 2004 to a man I had known since childhood, my brother’s best friend. My life was “do-able”, that is a big statement for a person with fibromyalgia.

Around Christmas of 2011, I started having problems with my memory. I often felt light-headed and giddy. I was getting heartburn all the time. By the summer of 2012, I was mentally vacant. I had lost a major amount of weight. I was saying and doing things I had no recollection of. I would be reminded of what had taken place but I could not remember … by September 1st I was admitted to the hospital with severe idiopathic pancreatitis.

Pancreatitis is known as the drinking man’s disease, except I am not a man and I did not drink enough to do this to my pancreas. I contributed, don’t get me wrong. I drank alcohol, I had begun to eat poorly, and I smoked heavily. But my pancreas was kinked and had a calcium blockage that was shutting down my pancreas, basically, my body and brain were starving for nutrients. I barely weighed 100 lbs. My triglycerides were sky-high, I was pre-diabetic, my blood pressure was high and my gallbladder needed to be removed. All of these things were contributing to my pancreatic problems.

I survived seven surgeries and twelve lengthy hospital stays. On two different occasions, I was asked by the surgeon what lengths I wanted him to go to preserve my life. My husband, myself and the surgeon did not believe I would make it off the table. I signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) both times. I was so ill I didn’t think I could take much more. My husband and I said our goodbyes but he asked me to promise to try to wake up. I promised I would try. Somehow, I did wake up. Every time.

Recovery was a slow process, I finally got all the tubes and stents removed from my stomach in July of 2015. Now, what was I going to do? I never planned on surviving. I could not remember much about the past 4 years … just bits and pieces. I was utterly lost.

I found adult coloring books and began using them. It helped me make choices, the colors to pick and the pictures to color. It was mind work and it was working. I found Zentangles next. You learn different patterns and you put them together in a picture of sorts. This was teaching me spacial recognition. I felt my brain begin to work again.

In September of 2016, I ended up with a severe fibromyalgia flare that just would not stop. I was so heavily medicated for those years during my pancreas problems my fibromyalgia did not surface. But it was now back with a vengeance! I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate, I felt as if I were walking through sand. Just walking to the bathroom and back to the sofa exhausted me. I was hospitalized with severe anemia. I was told I was close to having a massive heart attack. A heart attack? Unbelievable. I had a blood transfusion and iron injections. I felt better almost immediately. I now take B12 injections and an iron supplement.

I have been hospital free since September of 2016. I wanted to share my story with you because I have had to start over with my journey towards “do-able.” I am well on my way to getting my fibromyalgia back in check. I did it before my pancreas problems, and I will do it now. I tackle one day at a time until I reach “do-able.”

IMG_0255~Kim

 

12 comments

  1. I cried when I read this. You’ve been through so much. Do you have any problems now from the pancreas problems? Your heart’s okay?
    I will zen tangle sometimes, yours are awesome. Your shirt looks like a tangle.
    You are just so cute.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I was married in Arizona in the ruins of a Mission. It was in the fall too. Sept 3rd. The reception was all outside. Feels like it was just a few months ago, yet I feel like I’ve always known my husband. ♡

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Wendy! I did not mean to make you sad! I don’t see myself as being through a lot. I guess I have had my share. My heart is fine, my pancreas is working again, I still have fibromyalgia and a few other ‘little things’ but I am safely just in pain! 🙂 I told my husband I felt like “that” person…a “sickly person”. My husband told me, “Life dealt you a few bad hands but you fought. You are strong. You survived, that’s what I see.” I was forever changed after he said that to me. I am truly lucky Wendy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My ex did not see it this way..instead he became vicious verbally abusive and more to my son and i…he believed i was making it up to go
        On opiates. Ow i have to have chemo..he is suing me for a half amount of alimony and has the plan where he retires in 2 years until he is retrieving in 2 years. Im screwed

        Like

    1. You are right, until you are the one experiencing the pain, you have no idea. But it sounds like you are very empathetic! That helps so much. When a person is willing to sat that they don’t know what you are going through but you are there if they need anything. That really speaks volumes! Thank you Stephanie! -Kim

      Like

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